Valium, tomazepam, mogadon, many more

Ben: Diary Of A Heroin Addict

I happened upon this while looking through the shows online at the ABC. Something about the concept dragged me in; Ben has been a heroin addict/poly drug abuser for over ten years, has got a handycam and decides to film as faithful a representation of his life on video as circumstances will allow.


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It's that time of the month....

when the legalities of treatment for opiate addiction demand that I provide a script (prescription) for either Methadone, Biodone, Subutext or Suboxone to cover me for the coming month. "So?" I hear myself ask. Well to be frank, as in the girl who kept a diary of her time in a cupboard during the Nazi occupation of her country, it has been so long since I made a blog entry that I feel it incumbent upon me to maintain continuity. This is a construct of my own subjective notions and have nothing to do with the nature of blogging or the wider Collective Intelligence.


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Another day

I have been immersed in an obsessive/compulsive state focussed around a book about World War 1. Sleeping a few hours per day without any benzos and barely any cannabis which is good for my health provided I eat sufficiently and excercise routinely. If I am doing little more than lying in bed reading incessantly it doesn't feel like it's good for my health. It's not without reason however; a library loan I have to return the book in a month so I can't put it down for long for fear that I will not get the full dose of mindboggling accounts of the depths of human misery in all its forms.

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Volcano capped. Laval flow ceased.

In other blogs I have referred to a residence in Baynes St at Margate. 'Around Here' gives a taste of social life in one of the most dysfunctional places I have ever lived in.



                                The view of Baynes St residence from my balcony


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What a Waste!

So, I'm back on track one might say, using the 'Usage Tracker' and already I have noticed a slight moderation in my behaviour with Benzos. I think about it more often and think about how much I take at any time. Like 4 o'clock this morning when I took 5mg instead of 10-15mg, and still I managed a solid 4hr sleep.

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Waiting for the chook fruit to cool

Waking up with a persistent tinnitus to see that 50mg of yesterday's Biodone is still un touched by my bed and I am feelin noticeably more robust than the morning before I filled my script which I had waited a week for.

With 10mg diazepam dissolving in my mouth I sit at the pc with a cup of weak, sweet black tea and resolve to resume using the tracker. A point I have been wrestling with in my head.

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nge that had to come...

I had a prescription filled two weeks ago and doubted the local pharmacist's integrity when she told me otherwise but here it is...

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Strontium Dog

There's a Doc around here who croaked like a bullfrog in the wet season until he lost his licence to prescribe, which he is contesting, when I have worked up a monstrous 7 Xanax/day habit. So seductive they're despicable.


He did pay attention to my health by sending me off for all sorts of tests and scans, one of which revealed osteoporosis. He put me on one medicine which is a hormone strategy which made me feel worse than Seraquel so he gave me Strontium Ranelate


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Usage Tracker

Several days ago I began using the Usage Tracker to work these benzos out of my system I have noticed some problems. Most importantly I cannot get my Timeline for Benzos. 


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Diffrent Strokes

"What ever gets you through the night..." is a memorable lyric. It is also a truism that gets me into some of the most unpleasant nights in memory when "Whatever" is unavailable. I wish I was a schoolboy for the night when a bit of masturbation would do the trick but those days are long gone.



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